"I have long feared that the sins of my past would return to haunt me, and the cost is more than I can bare..."
Although I only officially "left" the message board a week or two ago, it has been a long time since I've actually played the game. I left in spirit long ago. I put my hand in my pocket, vowing never again to use my Solo Tease against anyone on the playground.
This past month and a half or so I've led the life of a simple farmer. I moved out to the country, where I lived off of the land, striving to survive one day at a time through crops and livestock. The work has made me stronger. When it came time to slaughter the livestock, I resisted the temptation to simply obliterate them by using my Solo Tease powers.
However, my attempt to remain separate from the game of SissyFight and at the same time visit the message board every once in a while has failed. I cannot sit by and watch the oppression of those dear to me continue.
Thus, I have returned.
It was recess time at the Dead Presidents Middle School. The children were enjoying a quiet game of Four-Square, and I watched from over the fence, contemplating my future: Should I return during Math class, or stay gone forever? I would hardly be missed, I thought to myself. Suddenly, one of the little girls hit the ball, and it went slightly out of the Four-Square court. "It was in!" she immediately claimed, but everyone knew it was out of bounds. She denied that it was out of bounds, and then refused to leave the game. That was cheating.
I leapt over the fence, and in the name of Voltron, sea monkeys, and everything else holy I took her by the pigtails and launched her over the fence. As she disappeared over the horizon the other children cheered.
I have, as of late, received reports of worsening conditions on all the playgrounds. Clones and cheaters are running rampant even more so than before, or so I am told. And so, as I said I would, I have returned to recall my arm to duty.
My "army" was little more than a militia when I was last here. We were unorganized, untrained, and poorly equipped to battle the forces of evil. Even when allied with the partiers of the RKP, we were getting little done. This time, things will be different.
Are "GOD" and "SATAN" as big an annoyance as I'm told they are? If they are, we must take proper steps to eliminate them. Two people shouldn't be tough. Also, we must in that case study the "Nairda Phenomenon," and find out if we can harness this power for our own good.
Upon inspection of Ramona's message board I've discovered a large influx of new players, many of whom will hopefully aid us in our quest. If united we stand, united we shall conquer.
Ok, so that time my militant attitude wasn't that funny. I do amuse myself with this crap though...I just realized that any new people who don't know me will think I'm serious with this, but I've typed it all already, so I might as well publish it, eh? Anyhow, seriously, if things are as bad as I've been told, why shouldn't we organize ourselves a little and try to stop the clones and cheaters and whoever else needs to go? It wouldn't take much effort, I'm sure.