May 15th, 2001 - Germans Attempt to Act Intelligently, and Fail

When Germans take a break from conquering Poland and attempt to teach their countrymen about nutrition, the result is about as logical as trying to put out a raging fire with kerosene. - Chris

April 6th, 2001 - Carbonated Milk Leaves Consumers Shrugging

People make assumptions all the time. Assuming that adding carbonation to things instantly makes them popular, however, is mistaken. I've downed enough Wal-mart brand cola to fill several swimming pools, and I'm still not winning any elections for public offices. - Chris